Join certified professional life coach David Cotton as he explores the complicated journey of coming out late in life.

Each podcast episode of "Out Late With David" features true stories of people who've struggled for decades before finally coming out as LGBTQ+.

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now playing

David talks with Charles Vollmar who shares his journey of coming out later in life and the challenges he faced. After being outed by his wife, he left his possessions behind and started a new life in San Miguel, Mexico. He is rebuilding his career as a culinary teacher and started sharing his story on social media.

previously

David talks with Dan Bolen who came out as gay at age 70, was kicked out of his church and ended his second marriage. He shares his journey of self-discovery and acceptance as a gay man after living a life of denial and fear. He discusses the challenges he faced in a restrictive religious community and the fear of losing his family and friends.

David Cotton shared his own personal coming out story as a guest on these podcasts

graying rainbows: coming out later in life lgbt+

To get to know more about me, you can listen to Episode 50 of the podcast, Graying Rainbows: Coming Out Later in Life LGBT+, hosted by Dr. Ginger Campbell.

the vulnerable man podcast

Christopher Veal’s podcast, The Vulnerable Man, Episode 56, sharing my story related to being a vulnerable man, where I see this as a strength and not a weakness.

To learn more about coming out later in life,

David Cotton recommends the following books and resources

Coming Out Stories

• 
  
• Frankly My Dear I’m Gay: A Late Bloomers Guide To Coming Out – Rick Clemons – https://www.rickclemons.com
  
• Coming True: Seeking Truth in Self Later in Life - Will Brown, LPC
  
• Coming Out: I Think I’m Gay ~ The Ultimate Guide to Self-Acceptance, Coming Out, Building a Support System, and Loving Your New Life ~ (How to Come Out of the Closet ) – Kevin Brison
  
• Married Men Coming Out: The Ultimate Guide to Becoming the Man You Were Born to Be – David Christel
  
• Finally Out: Letting Go of Living Straight – Dr Loren A. Olson, MD, https://www.lorenaolson.com/
  
• Fashionably Late: Gay, Bi, and Trans Men Who Came Out Later in Life – edited by Vinney Kineslla
  
• Our Family Outing: A Memoir of Coming Out and Coming Through – Leigh Anne Taylor and Joe Cobb
  
• Coming Out to Parents: A Two-Way Survival Guide for Lesbians and Gay Men and Their Parents - Mary V. Borhek
• This Book is Gay - Juno Dawson
  
• Coming Out Late — and Finding a New Life in Midlife | Charles M. Blow - New York Times 24 June 2023
• Trans Bodies, Trans Selves: A Resource by and for Transgender Communities - Laura Erickson-Schroth (Editor)
• Gay Men and The New Way Forward - Raymond L. Rigoglioso
  

• Spouse & Family Perspective
  

• My Husband Is Gay: A Woman’s Guide to Surviving the Crisis – Carol Crever
  
• The Other Side of the Closet: The Coming-Out Crisis for Straight Spouses and Families – Amity Pierce Buxton
  
• OurPath (formerly Straight Spouse Network): serves Straight Parters and Partners of Trans People, families and their community - OurPath Website
  
• Over the Cliff: Gay Husbands in Straight Marriages – Bonnie Kaye and Doug Dittmer
  
• When Your Spouse Comes Out: A Straight Mate’s Recovery Manual (Haworth Series in GLBT Family Studies (GLBTFS)) – Carol Grever
  
• Is My Husband Gay, Straight, or Bi?: A Guide for Women Concerned about Their Men? – Dr. Joe Kort
  
• Facing A Mixed-Orientation Marriage with Gratitude and Hope - Huffpost blog post by Rick Clemons
• Choosing Gratitude and Hope - Matt Nightingale and Luanne Nightingale | TEDxSonomaCounty
  
• Bisexuality, Monogamy, and the Art of Commitment - original article in Portuguese; link translates to English | Visão online edition

• LGBTQ History & Perspective
  

• The Velvet Rage – Alan Downs
  
• Straight Jacket: Overcoming Society’s Legacy of Gay Shame – Matthew Todd
  
• 10 Smart Things Gay Men Can Do To Improve Their Lives – Dr. Joe Kort
  
• Cracking the Erotic Code: Helping Gay Men Understand Their Sexual Fantasies – Dr. Joe Kort
  
• A Gay Man's Guide to Life: Get Real, Stand Tall and Take Your Place - Britt East
  
• The Ethical Slut: : A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships, and Other Freedoms in Sex and Love - Janet W. Hardy & Dossie Easton
• Helping Gay Men Find Love: Tips for Guys on Dating and Beginning a Healthy Relationship - Israel Martinez
  
• Gay Like Me: A Father Writes to His Son - Richie Jackson
• Gay Men and the New Way Forward - Raymond L. Rigoglioso
• U.S. LGBT Identification Steady at 7.2% - 2022 Gallup Poll of adults (Lesbian 13.4%, Gay 20.2%, Bisexual 58.2%, Transgender 8.8%)
• Amid ‘unicorn hunters’ and stereotypes, here’s how bisexual people are finding support - USA Today via AmBi.org
• The Gay Man’s Guide to Open and Monogamous Marriage
  

• Personal Development
  

• Daring Greatly – Brené Brown
  
• Rising Strong – Brené Brown
  
• The ManKind Project - a passionate and purpose-driven brotherhood building and supporting the emotionally mature, accountable, and compassionate male role models that our communities so desperately need

• Podcasts, Audio, & Video Stories
  

• Graying Rainbows – Coming Out LGBT+ Later in Life – podcast - Dr. Ginger Campbell
  
• To get to know more about me, you can listen to Episode 50 of the podcast, Graying Rainbows: Coming Out Later in Life LGBT+.
  
• Making Gay History by Eric Marcus – podcast: powerful stories for the struggles for equality and recognition
  
• Jonathan Wilson: he was publicly outed 20 years ago on live TV. Here's what happened after that - powerful story of overcoming adversity and the subsequent success (video and print)
• Scandal: Jonathan Wilson - "How I became an accident of history" (video)
  
• Life Un-Closeted by Rick Clemons (originally The Coming Out Lounge)
  
• He Said, She Said: The Art of Coming Out and Being a Late Bloomer: The Coming Out Lounge
  
• I’m From Driftwood | The LGBTQIA+ Story Archive: Coming Out Later in Life
  
• Choosing Gratitude and Hope | Matt Nightingale and Luanne Nightingale | TEDxSonomaCounty
• State of Pride: Fifty years after the Stonewall uprising, Oscar®-winning filmmakers Rob Epstein and Jeffrey Friedman and host Raymond Braun travel to three diverse communities – Salt Lake City, San Francisco, and Tuscaloosa, Alabama – for an unflinching look at LGBTQ Pride, from the perspective of a younger generation for whom it still has personal urgency.
• One Last Haircut | A man comes out to his wife and breaks apart their family. Fifteen years later, we check back in. New York Times Modern Love Podcast, episode 290.

• Groups & Organizations
  

• Gay Fathers Worldwide: a moderated Facebook Group that is a safe private forum for Gay Fathers that have previously been in a non gay relationship and have children from the relationship or that may still be in a relationship.
  
• Husbands Out to Wives (HOW): an international on-line support group for gay and bisexual men who are married to women and are out to (or working toward coming out to) their wives.
  
• PFLAG - is the United States' first and largest organization uniting parents, families, and allies with people who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer (LGBTQ+). PFLAG National is the national organization, which provides support to the PFLAG network of local chapters. PFLAG has over 400 chapters across the United States, with more than 200,000 members and supporters.
• First Friday Breakfast Club - Des Moines IA: helps men in the coming out process; also a 501(c)(3) charity providing scholarship to graduating high school seniors for post-secondary education
  
• Prime Timers World Wide: social organization for mature gay/bi gentlemen
  
• SAGE In Support of Coming Out: Support Groups for OIder Adults
• SAGE | Advocacy & Services for LGBTQ+ Elders
• amBi | amBi is a social club with a mission. We are here to build a world in which our bisexuality is a clear source of pride, joy, and strength.
• Human Rights Campaign (HRC) Coming Out Resources: resources to help you come out and live openly at home, at work and in your community
  

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